I
think I am falling in love with you,
And
I guess that’s okay.
Slowly
and steadily!
I
tell myself, "Be cool;
Be
strong, be brave and be detached!"
And
then I can taste your lips on mine;
The
way you eagerly explore my mouth,
The
way you bite my lower lip,
The
exhilaration in the pain;
And
I feel myself fall,
Slowly,
watching the blue sky open up over me,
Bathed
in the rays of the bursting dawn,
As
I fall through pearly white, cottony clouds
And
float towards the world.
I
think I really like you,
I
don't want to, but I guess that’s okay.
I
wait for you to text me,
And
I worry when you don’t,
Fretting
and huffing and puffing,
Wowing
to hate you,
And
to forget you,
To
erase your very existence,
From
the landscape of my mind.
And
then you say hi,
And
I can see your smile,
Warm
and guileless,
Innocent
like a day old child,
And
the dimples that crease your cheeks,
And
the way your eyes light up,
And
I have already forgiven you
I
think I want you,
It's
hard to admit but it's okay.
I
want to be hard as nails,
Defensive,
like I have taught myself to be,
Immune
to emotions and pain,
Apathetic
and indifferent.
Cold
when couples come together at the lips,
And
join themselves at their souls.
Cold,
as cold as New York on a January morning.
And
then I remember the touch of your fingers,
The
way they linger,
On
the naked skin of my back,
Your
lips on my neck,
Setting
me on fire,
Your
kindness and your urgency,
Your
patience and your passion,
The
way you said my name,
The
way you held my hand,
The
way you chained me to your bed, by your side
The
weight of your body on mine,
And
the comfort of your arms around me,
And
the walls of ice I built,
Melt
away.
I
think I want us to be together,
It’s
a long shot, but wishing it, is okay!
I
know we live on two ends of this island,
Seems
like two ends of the world on gray days and textless hours.
It
will be hard,
It
might be excruciating,
What
with me and my baggage
And
you and your past.
But
mostly me and my baggage.
But
when I think of holding hands,
Walking
through the fall leaves in Central Park,
Arms
entwined,
Kissing
on the terrace of the MET,
Walking
through the West village,
Sharing
a hot chocolate at Serendipity
Or
in my apartment,
Curling
up in your soft blanket,
Watching
Netflix on your laptop, naked,
It
seems worth it.
I
don’t know if we are meant to be,
If
this is really a thing,
Or
just a flash in the pan,
A
one night stand,
A
blip on my stream of random "romantic" rendezvous!
I
don't know if we are going to grow old together,
Live
in a ramshackle apartment together,
Or
even go out on a date together,
But
then I think of you,
And
not knowing seems okay.
Taking
a chance seems okay.
Deciding
to trust seems okay.
Who
knows?
Maybe
we will be okay!
